bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
