The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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