Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after