Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high

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  (310): I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high http://tfl.nu/hr6z
  Replies (9) Good night (2366) Bad night (896)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

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  (360): I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster. http://tfl.nu/yojg
  Replies (13) Good night (4377) Bad night (799)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just stepped in cum. i hate you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Thats what happens when you don't swallow.

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  (203): i just stepped in cum. i hate you. (603): Thats what happens when you don't swallow. http://tfl.nu/7phl
  Replies (86) Good night (9472) Bad night (2827)
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  (951): View more from California

  I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal

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  (951): I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal http://tfl.nu/pmv6
  Replies (23) Good night (10281) Bad night (989)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him

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  (303): mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him http://tfl.nu/uw49
  Replies (7) Good night (4519) Bad night (928)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted

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  (343): His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted http://tfl.nu/gnt2
  Replies (10) Good night (4802) Bad night (780)
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  (714): View more from California

  I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going

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  (714): I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going http://tfl.nu/ebwx
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (2560)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.

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  (509): Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully. http://tfl.nu/j9yb
  Replies (9) Good night (3418) Bad night (1261)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.

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  (260): He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again. http://tfl.nu/91lg
  Replies (17) Good night (920) Bad night (2807)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.

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  (614): Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this. http://tfl.nu/rk1o
  Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (1670)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.

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  (765): I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship. http://tfl.nu/nv2q
  Replies (41) Good night (1155) Bad night (3034)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.

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  (205): Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah. http://tfl.nu/ja8i
  Replies (10) Good night (2535) Bad night (498)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors

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  (843): Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors http://tfl.nu/kni1
  Replies (12) Good night (421) Bad night (1494)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.

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  (504): There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here. http://tfl.nu/vhqg
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (163)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"

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  (469): words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you" http://tfl.nu/m5ga
  Replies (3) Good night (268) Bad night (408)

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