yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.