i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
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If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
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I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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