Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Randomize
