I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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