the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
