Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
