I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
