My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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