Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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