Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize