So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
