can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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