So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize