I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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