I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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