Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
