bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
