Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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