My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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