so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
