When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I have post one night stand depression
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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