Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
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he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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