Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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