But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
