theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There are leaves in my underwear?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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