Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
