great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
