wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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