people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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