mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize