I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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