? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
