For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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