And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
