I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
this hospital has no fireball
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
