I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
