Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
