So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
