I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
