ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
