remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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