sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
