If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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