She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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