I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
