..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
