the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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