Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
