Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
