from now on my penis is your penis
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
