Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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