the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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