don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
