Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
