Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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