The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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