This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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