I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
