I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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