Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
