happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
