He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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