Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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