is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
